July 08, 2010 12:33 AM

Erm yea .
Just reach home like half an hour ago ?
Met Ting and WangZhen for our jogging  .
Rest at playground there , chatted .
Ting went home around 9 plus .
WangZhen pei me cab down to find Kiyomi @ T-mart .
He cabbed home after that .
Slacked with Kiyomi outside mac .
Sent her go take cab , took 28 home .
Chatted with Ting on the phone in the bus .
I know , I'm such a cry baby .
Crying for the whole day , still need to gek one smile infront others .
Then come home jitao cry , face cui like some fuck shit .
It seriously suck ttm . Trying to accept that you're gone in my life .
You will never come back to me , I'm just giving myself false hopes that you'll come back .
Trust ? Faith in love ? Thinking that someone will be there when I fall ?
Cock shit , I'm not going to believe this anymore .
Love ? There's no eternity in it .
Hah , still promise so many things .
Ending all are just broken-promises only .
All those promises ? They are still in my mind , want to delete also cannot .
Yea , I'll just vanish .
Eating down a whole bottle of pills doesn't seem like a bad idea after all .
Who knows , maybe I'll just sleep and never wake up .
Not bad eh ? I'll be trying it real soon . TRUST ME , I WILL .
Friends , saying that they will be there for me ?
Hah , don't cock please . Treating me like a fool .
Happy happy call me come , not happy just shoo me off .
You think what , I'm your play toy or something is it ?
I'm human , I have feelings too .
You feel pain , I do too . You know ?
Pain ? I'm feeling it everyday , every single day .
Yea , I'll just accept the fact that I have no friends , no family , no nothing .
Nobody will be there when I fall , NOBODY .
Motivation to study ? No more I guess , don't see what's the point of working so hard anymore .
Do so much for who to see ? Parents ? Crap , nobody will appreciate it .
You stepped into my life , thought I saw hope once again .
But who knew , it was just my illusion I guess .
Love you so much , all I get was hurt .
You say I've hurt you alot , but do you know how much you hurt me too ?
Thought this pain will never come to me again . But still I felt it once more .
It's much more painful than the previous one . Waited for your message like some fool .
Did you even know how panick I was when dm confiscated my phone just now ?
Couldn't even concentrate in class , I could only get back my phone after my detention .
Sitting there for 2hrs was like sitting 2days .
I almost went insane , tried sleeping to let the time past quicker .
Finally , 4.40 pm .
Got my phone back , checked phone .
You didn't even message me . Disappointed to the max .
For the first time , I felt so speechless .
Kept staring at my phone , till now .
I'm still looking at it , hoping that you will message me .
I know , I'm giving myself false hopes over and over again .
There's no miracle in this world , I'm just lying to myself .
I can't face reality , I'm such a coward .
I'm just wondering , will you even miss me when I'm gone ?
Well , don't dare to pin too much hope either .
Just hope that you'll sms me when you see this .
I may be gone soon , real soon (: